Meet the family shopping ninjas
December 19th, 2009 by Paula BenderMarriage isn't just the union of two. It's a family making space at the table. It's adding another person to the list of who to look out for, who to share a joke with and who to share a heartache with as this spinning marble hurls through space. If you don't find yourself in such a family, you're missing out.
I am one of four out-laws who have married a Bender. Every other winter break, the family gathers in Hawaii. Two of my sisters-in-law come with their mainland families to hang loose in the islands. Three Benders went to Kalani, two Benders went to Kaiser, all Benders went to Niu Valley Intermediate and to Koko Head Elementary. Now my girls are on the same track.
This is not a visit year, so I'll miss the fun of gathering as a member of the out-laws, me and the three dudes who married Bender daughters (Until now, the sisters-in-law had no idea that the guys and I formed the secret out-law society. Me and the guys -- what a kick!). However, there will be no shortage of fun with the two sisters who live in Hawaii, my mother- and father-in-law, as we gather for the holidays, taking turns hosting parties with lots of food and bubbly!
One thing we can always count on is my sister-in-law Susan Bender, the original shopping ninja. With her husband Bob Hooper as her copilot, Susan, an attorney, is a natural thrift-shop sleuth. So when we need something like a replacement glass pitcher for our old Oster blender, she's calling us from the thrift store with potential purchases lined up. When my girls were younger, she'd scour the racks for gorgeous, nearly new baby clothes that she'd buy for pennies on the dollar, take them home to wash and press, and then bring them over to me, the harried, exhausted mom.
The Shopping Ninjas
There was a time when I could shop with the best of them. I no longer have the patience. But Susan persists until she has acquired and bargained for the ultimate designer handbag, leather jacket or bracelet studded with precious stones. She can talk down a salesman to a fraction of the asking price and leave them smiling as she's sashaying her way out the door. When I go into such places I cannot bring myself to scan the racks. Bob and Susan's secret? Baby wipes stashed in the car for a quick cleanup.
When it's time to open presents, the exciting part is opening the gifts from Susan and Bob. Most of the time it isn't what you had in mind and not what you expected, but for some odd reason, perfect. How do they do that, year after year?
I have a very good connection with my sister-in-law Susan. I am lucky to have someone who has taken such an interest in being the big sister to me and a loving auntie to my girls. My other in-laws and out-laws are no slouches when it comes to their love and generosity. But all would agree, I'm sure, that Susan and Bob are in a class unto themselves!
Tags: Bender, Bob Hooper, gifts, holidays, Kaiser, Kalani, Koko Head, Niu Valley, shopping ninja, Susan Bender
December 19th, 2009 at 4:33 pm
I admire people who can hunt for the perfect gifts that people look forward to receiving! I've always wanted to be "that person." ha ha Well, maybe someday.
December 20th, 2009 at 5:09 pm
# Linda Rose: Your comment is awaiting moderation.
December 20th, 2009 at 5:06 pm
I got misty-eyed as I read the article about Susan and Bob -- treasured family members and shopping ninjas. Your article reminded me how special Susan is and how incredibly special I feel to be one of her friends . . . and to have her as one of mine.
Here's my very recent Susan Bender story: She sent me a Christmas gift with a caveat to open it before the holidays. So I did. As I told Susan, I gasped when I opened the first package -- a beautiful, chic, deep rich green silk Chinese-style dress. Then the second package almost elicited the same response: a bright red silk Chinese jacket. Not only could I wear this outfit for the holidays, I could wear it for a music gig I had later in the week. Susan asked: Did my outfit garner any comments. It certainly did. But sometimes the compliments were in response to me pointing out what I was wearing: "Have you noticed my fabulous outfit?" (with emphasis and extension on the "fab"). Everyone agreed it was fab. I went on to explain how my friend in Hawaii found these designer pieces while sleuthing the vintage clothing shops in Honolulu . . . .
I do believe that this gorgeous outfit fell neatly within the Susan-Bender-Shopping-Ninja standard -- $6 or less, each piece. Susan is indeed priceless! And I do love her.
Linda Rose in Nashville
http://www.roseonvibes.com
http://www.roseimmigration.com
December 20th, 2009 at 6:05 pm
Linda Rose:
SOOOO Nice to hear from you! I've heard a lot about you over the years. Someday we will have to meet. Some lovely get together with Susan, the next time you are in Hawaii! Mahalo for your response! Happy Holidays, Linda Rose!
December 21st, 2009 at 5:17 am
As one of the mainland out-laws mentioned here, I agree entirely. Fortunately for you, Paula, we forgot to put the Fight Club proviso into our secret society's charter. I'm the only member of the family who wears silk nooses for work. I benefit whenever Susan sends me the beautiful ties she hunts and gathers. With Bob's Donald Duck voice and New Year pyrotechnic displays, I have long since given up competing for funnest uncle.
December 21st, 2009 at 8:20 am
Well this is putting a good slant on my shopping philosophy, hobby, addiction, which fortunately seems much more innocuous in the present economic climate. As a frequent customer of thrift shops and other second hand venues, I notice the isles a little more crowded in these days of job furlows and layoffs. Underemployed and unemployed folks have to make up for the income loss somehow, and thrift shops can provide an important stopgap. I know some people can't seem to get past the imagined stigma of shopping in a thrift shop, but finding a pair of your favorite designer jeans for pennies on the dollar can go a long way toward assuaging the fear of being recognized leaving the store with a "Savers" bag in hand.
December 21st, 2009 at 11:11 am
You aren't just a ninja, Susan. You are a goddess!
December 21st, 2009 at 11:12 am
Neil: Missin' you guys this year! I've had an Sbux in your honor! Let us know how R.I. fared in the snow storm! Brooklyn was blanketed! I hope your folks enjoyed it for the most part!